Dear A-Hole That Vandalized my Car this Weekend,

Seriously?? You broke my back seat window just to steal the Nordstroms bag in the back seat? That's IT? I can't believe you had the nerve to do that RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY HOUSE. Probably while I was up in the middle of the night feeding my brand new baby. Did you know that 3 months ago someone stole my car stereo while I was at work (perhaps you noticed the big gaping hole in the console where a stereo normally goes)? And did you also know that 6 weeks ago someone stole my car and the car seat in it? And then YOU had to come along and shatter my faith in humanity by bashing my window in and stealing the lovely baby shower gift I'd just purchased my friend for her shower today.

I hate you,

Jill