SAHM

Being a stay at home Mom, even just temporarily, is such a shift. The neighborhood is so quiet when I walk with Edie in her Ergo two or three times a day. Except of course when we pass one of the two neighborhood coffee shops, which are exploding with other parents and their kids. I've started viewing the day in 2-3 hour chunks. This chunk, we'll walk and nap, then the next one we'll feed and fuss, then the next one we'll go to Mom's group... etc... basically trying to keep her from screaming until Jeff comes home to relieve me for a bit.

Today, Edie is pretending to be the perfect baby and I'm learning to just enjoy these moments rather than hope that she's establishing some sort of pattern. Two nights ago, she literally woke up every single hour on the hour from midnight to 6am to eat and cry. And after eating at 6am, she just decided to wake up for the day rather than go back down for another snooze. It was exhausting. I almost didn't go to my Mom's group again out of fatigue, but Jeff (like last week) encouraged me to go. And again, I'm glad I went.

It was almost an entirely new group of Moms from last week, but one of the two women I talked with the previous week was there and we sat together. Her daughter is only a week older than E, so we compared benchmarks and chatted a bit. This week, at least 2 other women talked about their low milk supply and issues with breastfeeding. I've definitely chilled out quite a bit about this issue, but it was still so nice to hear that I wasn't the only one with the same issues. After the class I asked one of the women for her info and told her that if she wanted to get together or talk ever, to call. She actually already emailed me and a few other women from the group and it looks like we're getting together to walk around Greenlake tomorrow morning. I'm also talking to the other two women from last week about going to a Mom's movie matinee thing next week. It's nice to have activities with other Moms to fill the days.

Perhaps the best discovery from the group yesterday though was that Edie LOVES to bounce with me on the exercise ball (they have a slew of baby gear at the meeting for any of the Mom's to use, including exercise balls, boppies, etc). Last night, I had Jeff blow the ball up that we used during labor and it's working like a charm today. Every time E gets fussy, I hold her and bounce vigorously on the ball and she calms right down. Much better than the rocking chair and less exhausting than pacing the hallway. Last week, she loved radio static, but this week appears to be all about the exercise ball.

After her hellish night two nights ago, I was bracing myself last night for another rough one. But instead Edie fell asleep at 11:30pm and didn't wake up again until 3:20. And even then, she just took a bottle and fell back asleep after 10 minutes of bouncing on the ball with me. We curled back up for another snooze and she didn't wake again until 7am. And as if that wasn't enough of a treat, she literally hasn't cried once today (yet). We walked up to the video store together this morning and I rented Sunshine Cleaning (loved). We watched the first 30 minutes together while I bounced on the ball (she was still strapped into the Ergo) and I was actually able to eat a snack. Then the next 30 minutes were spent quietly breastfeeding and after that she passed-out on my chest all cute and cuddly while I finished the movie. Last week she hated snuggling on my chest, but this week, she's all about it.

I'm learning that every day is very different from the previous. There are no patterns yet and I'm getting better at rolling with that. I'm fully aware that her charming behavior today probably predicts a hellish night tonight, but instead of dreading that, I'm just appreciating the peace I have right now as she snorts, grunts and farts in her sleep right next to me with the laptop. I'm already looking forward to her waking up soon so I can breastfeed for a bit, top her off with a bottle and then plop her back in the Ergo to return the movie and maybe stop into one of the nearby coffee shops for a cookie to eat on the walk back home. Maybe I'll reread this post at 3am tonight when she's wailing and decides to hate the exercise ball...