Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Daily Note: August 19, 2009

The lack of posts this week has been a reflection of my state of mind. Kind of blank. I definitely feel like life is on hold until this whole labor thing starts happening. The problem is that in the meantime, I have shit to get done and I'm really struggling to motivate. I think I might be missing the nesting gene. It's not that I don't want things to be clean, I just cannot seem to want it bad enough to figure out a way to crawl on my hands and knees and scrub under the clawfoot tub.

The weekend was fairly productive, with last minute trips to Ikea and Target, and some social time with friends and family. The last 5 days or so have been peppered with periodic cramps and minor contractions, but nothing too painful and definitely nothing frequent enough to track. The baby has definitely dropped lower. Last night in particular, she was moving so strongly and frequently around 10:30 that I couldn't keep still without having to breath through the pain a bit. She was so low that I could feel her gliding against my pelvic bone when she moved and wow, that is not the most pain-free experience. The discomfort and downward pressure had me whimpering a little, but it didn't last much longer than an hour or two and then I fell asleep.

The main update is that my left hip has more or less given out on me. Walking is incredibly painful and I can't really put much pressure on my left leg at all without wincing. I wasn't able to leave the house on Monday because of my hip, and while things are just the tiniest bit better today, I'm still feeling pretty sorry for myself. The hardass security guard at work even took pity on me and allowed me free access to the in-building garage this week (normally it costs $90/month), but even gimping to the elevator from my car is an experiment in pain management. SO annoying.

And speaking of annoying, wrapping up work to go on leave is also proving to be much more stressful than anticipated. I feel a bit like a high school senior in the last week of school, except in this scenario, things matter a lot more so I can't just skip class and go to Haggens for fried rice. Jeff's been incredibly tolerant and supportive and of course I know I'm almost done. But almost done isn't quite the same as just plain done. At this point, I'm fully anticipating going to my due date or beyond, but I guess you never know. My next doctor's appointment is on Friday, so it'll be interesting to see if anything has changed since last Thursday.

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