Sunday, August 8, 2010

I love my daughter

Edie was a delight all morning and afternoon today. Then something happened during her late afternoon nap and she woke up a miserable sack of shrieking baby. I'm not sure what my damage was today (nor Edie's), but I just wasn't up for hanging out with a scream machine. I tried everything. Holding her (hated it), reading (pissed), singing (super pissed), finally I decided that despite having chugged an unprecedented 10 ounces prior to her nap, she was hungry again. So I saddled her up in the high chair and provided her with some left-over chicken satay from a party I hosted yesterday. She didn't want it. It made her angry. She clearly wanted ANOTHER bottle instead, but I just kept looking at her and thinking, "GAAAAWD, just eat the effing chicken!" Then we had a stare down. Which she totally won. I made her another bottle and she drank it. But then the shrieking resumed. Jeff went to The Sounder's game tonight - I just put her to bed and I feel so relieved.

It's normal to have a day where you just can't hack it, right? I mean, technically I *did* hack it. I didn't throw Edie out the window or anything (mostly because my neighbors were having a BBQ on their second story balcony) but I wasn't really my usual self. I have no real excuse.

The only thing I can point to is that Edie's sleep seems to be shifting. She's sleeping longer at night - from 8pm until 8am - and then her solid napping schedule seems to be getting shiftier as a result. I think I relied too heavily on those naps and when I don't get them for as long, or as predictably, it throws me off. I'm not adapting well and that needs to change. Also, I have always been sort of annoyed by picky eaters. Okay, majorly annoyed. I love eating and I struggle to think of more than one food that I won't eat (oysters) so I get a little high-horsey when people are all, "Is that blue cheese? Hmm... do you have any mild cheddar?" Except obviously the universe has a way of teaching people lessons and apparently instead of teaching picky eaters to suck it up and be adventurous, it feels more like teaching me that picky eaters are okay by having me GIVE BIRTH TO ONE. So sometimes when Edie doesn't want my tasty grilled chicken that I marinated in greek yogurt, curry, ginger and garlic (thanks Steve Johnson!) I feel like throwing said chicken in her face. I mean, I don't do it! I really don't throw chicken at my baby, but the thought did cross my mind for a second tonight.

To remind myself that Edie is usually a ball of sunshine and that I really do love her very much, I thought I'd post some adorable pictures of her.


lindsey said...

Edie in the red sink is such a cheery little image! I love the picture of her and Jeff. That one belongs in a frame.

Sorry you had a rough day, Jill. I know how you feel. I hate it when I get frustrated but just because we are the world's best mothers doesn't mean we aren't still human. I know you know this but I just wanted you to know that you aren't some sort of anomaly. Tomorrow will be better.

Interesting...Marina has begun to sleep longer at night too. And she is also napping less during the day. (Though, let's face it, she's never been much of a napper.) I don't know if it's the age or what but I have noticed several things lately that just keep reminding me that she is growing up and getting more independent. It breaks my heart a little but it is also so amazing to witness.

Betsey said...

I'm so with you. When Emmi is being a picky eater it is everything in me not to throw the food some days. Instead (when I'm feeling like cleaning a mess, which equals the happiest baby because she ends up in the tub), I give her the food and let her smear it all over herself and then bathe her. Or I say, "Fine, let the dog have it!" And then Krasner gets an extra meal (reason #2 that the poor dog is gaining weight).

There are some great books out there with serious comic relief and the best honesty. I need to unpack them and read them all again now that Emmi is getting to be that age. I'm pretty sure if you go to amazon and type it Heather Armstrong's "It Sucked and then I Cried" they will suggest all the other funny, witty, normal mother stories.

Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. Emmi has become very opinionated and beastly lately. When she is done with her bottle she hurls it across the room.

Katie Ann Brooks said...

I know, so hard sometimes. You didn't look like you had a rough day when I saw you Monday am, so kudos to you! You say you hacked it, you totally did! I usally hack it by whining-heh! But I guess it is still hacking it either way (aka neither one of us was thrown through the window-smile). Hang in there, through the ups and downs, there will be many, but the ups will be the most beautiful. By the by, eating will get easier, the little ones have those strong taste buds. It doesn't make food battles any easier, but maybe a little consolation.