Driving Miss Edie

Driving with Edie by myself is as close to a personal hell as it comes for me. She HATES the car SO MUCH. If she's not sleeping, she's screaming like she's being murdered in the backseat. I've tried singing to her, talking to her (in case it was the singing that was offending her), a pacifier, white noise, pumping the breaks, dangling toys from the top of her seat, and jiggling the car seat while driving. Recently my mother and I picked out a car mirror thing online and it arrived last week. It's intended to hang in front of her when seated in the car and it has a mirror and lights and the lights flash around while playing music and saying the colors of the lights in English, Spanish and French so as to distract her from her rage. It even has a timer so that you can have it play the whole drive. Result? I get to hear twinkle twinkle little star AND screaming. The whole way home. Thoughts I had on my way home from our outing today (warning: bad words have NOT been edited out):

Why is this guy in his stupid Prius driving SO FUCKING SLOW???!!!! I hate you Prius driver!!!!!!!

Please don't stop for that guy to cross the street with his dog!!! FOR FUCKS SAKE CAN'T YOU TELL I HAVE A SCREAMING BABY IN THE BACKSEAT???

Of course that light is turning red, EVERY light is turning red because the whole universe is against me and Edie and wants it to take us five trillion hours to get home from Ballard!!!!!

I wonder if we have any eggnog ice cream left in the freezer? If so, I'm going to scoo- OH MY GOD YOU'RE NOT DYING BACK THERE PLEASE STOP CRYING!!!!