Every night now involves an hourly ritual of me pulling my shirt up and my rolling my pants down in order to apply cocoa butter to my itchy, itchy midsection. The other night, I thought it would be funny to surprise Jeff in the office while performing this ritual. He was sitting at the computer and turned to see me walk in, greasing my belly up while making a totally unsexy face. The following exchange occurred:
Jeff: Just a second (he turns and bends down as if to get something and comes up with the camera in hand)
Me: (totally panicking at the thought of photographic evidence, running back to the bathroom)
A minute passes as I finish rubbing in the lotion from the bathroom next door.
Me: (shouting to Jeff in the next room) Look what just came out of my belly button!
Jeff: Never say that again.
Me: Does that mean you don't want to see it?
No response.
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