Tuesday, November 20, 2012

3 year olds are the worst.

Seriously. I feel a little guilty typing that, but I think it might be true. 2 was hard, but it was equally balanced (even outweighed) by some amazing times. 3 so far, has few redeeming qualities. I'm resigning myself to just putting my head down and surviving the next 9 months.

This morning, Edie woke up earlier than usual but we had a nice, sleepy morning of cereal, puzzles and a little princess cartoon. But when it came time to get dressed for daycare, which happens 3 days per week EVERY SINGLE WEEK and therefore should not be a surprise, Edie refused. I could see her refusal amping up for a meltdown so I tried to nip it in the bud with an offer of her gummy vitamin if she got dressed (she loves her vitamins). No dice, it immediately ramped into a full scale meltdown with weeping and thrashing and declarations of "hating vitamins". I tried to comfort her and cajole her pajamas off. She doesn't want me to touch her. We offered up her brand new unicorn shirt so she could show it off at daycare. But all of a sudden she HATES daycare and doesn't want to go. Oh, and that's "NOT A UNICORN SHIRT!!" Which is categorically untrue. She always loves going to daycare and it totally is a fucking unicorn. GAAAAHHHHH!!!!

After about 15 minutes of weeping and wailing, I got fed up. No form of "positive discipline" is working at this point. Jeff told her she could go to her room and to let us know when she was ready to get ready. Except she then went to her room and screamed bloody murder for 30 more minutes. By now, we are 30 minutes late for daycare and Edie seems to be enjoying the power she clearly has. She eventually gets naked and then insists that she wants to go to daycare wearing nothing but her green blanket like a cape. She will accept no other options. And obviously, we can't accept taking her to daycare NUDE. Another power struggle ensues, the weeping returns.  She throws a wrench in the whole thing but adding a NEW request to the mix - now she says she'll go potty if we give her a sucker. Which, WHAT? She hasn't ever received rewards for going potty and hasn't had a sucker since the week after Halloween so why in the hell would she thinks she'd get a sucker right now? I don't think I'm attributing too much intelligence to her when I say that she was clearly asking for something she KNEW we would refuse just so she could flip her shit again.

Also, totally out of the blue, mid-wail she tells me that, "I don't WANT Santa to come!" She is referring to the "Santa Clause is Coming to Town" lyric in which you "better not cry, you better not pout". My Mom sang it to her recently to promote good behavior and I think Edie was explaining that it was worth it to her to pout and cry and she didn't care of Santa didn't come as a result.

Oh, and to add to the stew of discontent is the fact that she needed to take her ear infection meds this morning. She's midway through her 10-day course and has to take it twice per day. She usually loves her bubble gum medicine, but not this morning. This morning she clamps her teeth shut and pins her chin to her chest and won't look up at me. And before you excuse her behavior as being related to the ear infection, think again. Her infection is long gone, we just need to finish the course so it won't return.

Finally, after an hour of struggle, I give in. If she takes the medicine, she can put her pajamas back on and go to daycare in her pjs. I feel defeated and angry, but help her put her pajamas back on. I tell her to get her shoes on and what does she do? She goes to her shoe drawer and instead of picking out one of the 2 pairs she wears every day for school, she reaches for her summer sandals that she hasn't shown interest in since July. It's freezing cold and after torrential rain all day yesterday, the entire city is one big mud puddle.  Jeff gives me the stink eye and asks why the sandals are even IN the shoe drawer when it's late November.

Just kill me now.


Unknown said...
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Unknown said...

If it makes you feel any better, I could have written this...swap out ear medicine for constipation medicine, and make it 5 days a week of battles, and you have our house! Oh, and add a 7 month old to the mix just to make you a little later every day! :-) I know we will look back and miss this stage even though there are days I wonder how! At least you know you're not alone!

Rachel said...

Right there with ya. A mutual friend of ours recently asked if I'd heard the term "threenager".

Anonymous said...

Let her go to school nude...and be calm and happy for her.

Laura said...

seriously, take a set of clothes in a bag to give to her daycare provider (in case she changes her mind once she gets there)..buckle her into the car and and drop her off naked....it's a win win situation. She gets her way and it won't happen again.
isn't being a parent wonderful?!?
xoxo Aunt Laura

Future Perfect said...

What a nightmare. It seems like those in the know say that 3 is the worst year. Hopefully because Edie is so precocious, it will end soon.

Have you tried this "Elf on the Shelf" thing? Pure blackmail. But maybe if she doesn't care about Santa, it might not work.

Happy to babysit to give you a reprieve.


lindsey. said...

I always feel bad laughing when I read these posts but your stories are so amusing and also I can completely relate.