Shopping = Confusion

So shopping pre-pregnancy was already confusing for me. I had to figure out -

1. Is this cute?

2. Is this cute on ME?

3. Does this make me look thin? Or fat?

4. Is it the right length or will I need to get it hemmed?

5. Am I too old to wear this?

But then you go about 6 months of only wearing hand-me-downs or shopping from an extremely limited selection of elastic waist pants and stretchy shirts. So when suddenly you're proportioned more like a woman again and a little less like a watermelon, things get even more confusing in the shopping department. Add to the usual list of questions:

6. Can I breastfeed in this?

7. How will spit up look on this?

8. Will Edie pull the sequins or beading off this?

9. Is this too tight?

10. Do my boobs look too enormous in this?

11. Is this "mom appropriate" or am I trying too hard?

12. Is this my style?

13. What IS my style? I forget.

14. If I wore leggings and big shirts in 1987 and thought it was cool only to look back and realize it was NOT, why is it cool now?

15. What are Jeggings? And WHY AM I BUYING THEM? Actually I know the answer to this one - it's because they are pretty much like wearing yoga pants in public, only for some reason fashion-appropriate. And because I can wear long shirts over my post-partum hips and pretend that it's because I'm cool and not because I'm hiding something.