Sorry for my lazy posts of late. Sometimes April is the worst. Work-wise, it's always my busiest month and this year is no exception. I have an annual event that always falls in early May and then add to that this year a new event a week prior and you get this:
I feel scattered and like I'm flopping at work and in the home. We are pretty much always out of groceries, Edie is pretty much always throwing a tantrum about something really stupid like wanting to wear her blue tights when they are dirty, and I'm waking up in the middle of the night fretting about work projects. I find myself wanting to hide in bed and sleep through the next 3 weeks. I've been having vivid dreams about flying over storybook-like landscapes and inner tubing down a river in the dark with my Mom, aunt, cousins, and sister-in-law. When Edie yells my name from her room in the morning, I'm having a hard time popping out of bed like I usually do because I feel like I still have one foot in my dreamland and I'm not sure I'm ready to leave it yet. Real life feels infinitely less magical.
This morning, after getting Edie ready for school and sending her off with Jeff, I had my usual 9am Wednesday appointment with my trainer. I would have rather gone back to bed and fretted about work (not really, but kind of). But I mustered the effort and I'm so glad I did. It's such a cliche, but I felt miles better after going. Taking an hour where I am not in charge of making decisions (good or bad), straining to catch every detail in a meeting, or coping with a melting 4 year old is a GIFT. For an entire hour I wasn't focused on work OR parenting.
And then I went to work and resumed stressing out.
On the bright side, my girls are taking me out for a belated birthday thing on Friday and then Jeff and I have a double date and a babysitter scheduled for Saturday. So there is a light at the end of this week's tunnel. Oh, and the sun is shining! So I guess it can't be all bad. Jeff and I booked a trip to Maui for September and sometimes I just pull my cell phone out and look at the photos of our rental cottage and it makes me feel like everything is going to be okay soon.