While I was home working today we got a package delivered for Jeff. It weighed like 60 pounds and was clearly filled with boring paper supplies.
When Jeff got home I said something about him receiving the heaviest package ever and he told me that it was filled with my Christmas presents. I believe he said, "It's so heavy because it's filled with jewelry for you." When I gave him my you're-an-asshole face, he clarified, "Necklaces made with strings of big heavy rocks."